Are you single? Do you desire to be in a relationship? Perhaps you’re experiencing some pressure to be in one. Or you may believe your life is less complete in your singleness. Although a healthy, romantic relationship can greatly benefit the quality of one’s life, it is not a necessary element for fulfillment. However, depending on your social or cultural norms, many stereotypes placed on singles may be cause for discomfort or concern.
Some common stereotypes about singles are that they are not desirable, they have a lot of free time, or they would rather be in a relationship. As with other stereotypes, these generalities are often not true. Everyone has something about them that is attractive to another person. This can include personality and physical characteristics. It should not be assumed that because one is single that they have nothing positive to offer in a relationship. Singles play supportive roles in non-romantic relationships and various activities. Their time is just as valuable as the time of those who are in a partnership. Being single can be by choice. One may choose not to date or enter a relationship because of the hard work they require, preferring to focus on other important areas of your life such as school, work, a business, or personal development.
There are both benefits and challenges while single. One may feel a sense of disconnect from friends who are in relationships or events that cater to couples. Others may feel a sense of loneliness in certain scenarios because of the absence of a relationship. Activities around holidays such as New Year’s Day, Valentine’s Day, Thanksgiving, or Christmas may be strong reminders that one is not dating. Different perspectives on being single may present a sense that your life is less important than those in relationships. On the other hand, in many cases, if one is not in a relationship, there’s no need to be cognizant of thoughts or feelings of another or adhere to their expectations. Relationships require understanding, compassion, communication, and compromise. If you are not committed to these responsibilities, it is best not to force yourself into a partnership you are not ready for.
Pressure to be in a relationship can negatively impact one’s self-esteem. Feelings of worthlessness and self-doubt may cause one to negate their positive characteristics. Some may feel a push from friends, family, or society to be in a relationship. At a “certain” age, with no dating prospects, one may be questioned concerning their relationship status. Some may even question if you are interested in having a partner. Society may glamorize romantic relationships causing singles to feel left out because they do not meet the "in a relationship" status. But instead, singles can choose to embrace their oneness and make the most of this season in life.
It’s important to have a positive sense of self-worth before entering a relationship. It is also helpful to know your morals, values, boundaries, and expectations prior to starting a relationship. Being able to identify these key components can be of great benefit in the early stages of dating. If the person that you are dating does not share common interests, values, and expectations, these are red flags to note before considering a serious commitment.
If you are single and feeling lonely, I encourage you to identify what it is about being single that makes you feel lonely. These feelings can be the desire to share your life with someone. They can also be pressure from family, friends, media, or yourself to be in a relationship. Feelings of loneliness can be overcome by making connections to other people or activities that provide meaning and purpose for your life. Healthy, non-romantic relationships with friends and family are just as essential as healthy, romantic relationships. Taking time to explore and engage in your interests and talents is another way to cope with feeling lonely. You may desire to be in a healthy relationship in the future, but take this time to identify your wants and needs and care for yourself in the best way possible.
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