Life can be demanding with the many responsibilities and expectations we have for ourselves or that others have for us. Many of us have an idea of what we want our lives to look like from attending college and landing the entry-level job to beginning a new relationship or traveling the world. But what happens when unforeseen challenges come knocking on our doors? These challenges may come in the form of a loss of employment, a relationship break-up, family issues, health concerns, or financial struggles. They can often lead to feelings of disappointment, frustration, doubt, anger, or uncertainty. Symptoms of anxiety or depression may present in our lives as irritability, poor concentration, lack of energy, sleep disturbances, loss of interest in things we once enjoyed, or negative thoughts and feelings about self. At times, there may seem as if there is no light at the end of this complicated tunnel.
In working with clients, I hear that unhealthy life choices are made more often during difficult times. During these times, it can be more challenging to find the time and energy to take care of our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs. Here are a few tips for managing life in a healthy way during unexpected life transitions:
ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR FEELINGS: It can be so easy to brush off negative feelings about situations and cover them up with how we think we should feel. Although remaining positive through difficulties is helpful, not being honest with ourselves can be harmful. Naming our feelings can be vulnerable but it allows us (even if it’s just for a moment) to feel what we truly feel.
IDENTIFY GRATITUDE: Finding joy in the journey of transition can sometimes seem impossible, but it can be helpful to identify something positive amongst the negative. This can be as simple as expressing gratitude for nature, opportunities for personal growth, aspects about ourselves that we like, or supportive people in our lives. Also, taking five minutes a day to reflect in a journal can allow for a quiet moment in the day and provide something to reflect on in those tougher days.
MAINTAIN MOTIVATION: When life feels heavy, it can become a chore to engage in activities and routines that we know are stabilizing and healthy. We sometimes rob ourselves of coping skills that have helped us in the past by not using them consistently when we do not feel 100%. Exercising, reading, spending one on one time with a friend, or playing a game are a few coping skills that help maintain motivation. Making small adjustments to these activities and routines can make a big difference when time is short rather than abandoning them altogether.
STAY CONNECTED: Finding a safe space to process our thoughts and feelings about our transitions can be very helpful. It is very easy to feel as if we are the only ones going through transition, but it is a very common part of life. Friend groups, faith communities, family members or therapy can provide mental and emotional support we may need during and after life struggles
Life is unpredictable. Although we can plan for the future in the best ways possible, it is beneficial to have skills for when life does not go as planned. Identifying coping skills and putting them into daily practice can set us up for successful transitions when the unexpected occurs. Being aware of our feelings and emotions, identifying positives in life, practicing self-care, and establishing a support system are ways to foster healthy emotional and mental health. Taking these challenges day by day and moment by moment can assist us in finding hope and healing during stressful life transitions.
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